Cool, calm and collected...or not

I like to think of myself as a calm, logical person.
Ask my friends to describe me: smart and scientific.
So how does that explain me walking out of a movie theater at 10:30 at night, halfway through the movie and shaking with fear?

There is simply nothing rational or sensible about a fear of horror movies. Yet, millions of people flock to theaters for the sole purpose of getting the pants scared off of them. Let's set up the scene: It's 9:00, I'm sitting at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, celebrating my debate tournament qualification with a well-deserved mocha ice-blended drink. We decide to go see a movie, why not? We've been through a full day of hard debating, we deserve a little mindless entertainment. It's at this point that I remember that I haven't seen a scary movie in about 4 years, a decision which came about after watching "Child's Play" at 2:00 in the morning (terrible movie, made me put all of my dolls in a sealed box). Despite this fact, I suffer a lapse in judgement (perhaps from all the caffeine and sugar), and decide to go see the movie "Zodiac" (again, terrible movie, which nobody should go and see).

Which explains why at about 10:00 that night, I was in the 7th row of Ward Theater, curled up in my seat, trembling, and peeking out through my fingers which were covering my eyes. After about an hour of tense, stressful scenes picturing gruesome stabbings, suspense-filled moments that seem to last forever, and the occasional dead body, I decide I can't handle the tension and leave. Half-numb with fear, I go home and lie in bed for a few hours before drifting into a troubled, nightmarish sleep. The next morning, with the reassurances of a blaring TV, parents in the next room, and several windows of sunlight, I sit down and try to reason with myself.

Why was I so afraid of the movie? Well, let's start with the fact that this movie, at least, was based on the true story of a serial killer in California. Furthermore, the killer was never caught in real life, giving the story neither a satisfying ending nor closure. That brings us to the even deeper question of: Why are people afraid of death? The number one fear in America is a fear of dying (closely followed by a fear of public speaking). But why are we so afraid of dying? Sure, there is always the physical aspect of it; how many people would actually volunteer to being stabbed to death? I suppose a practical approach would be that if it is your time to go, it is your time to go, and there is nothing you can do about that. That always brings the picture to mind of the 3 Fate Sisters in the movie Hercules, untangling the thread of life, and snipping it when the time is right. But thinking about that always gives me optimism, watching the sisters try to cut Hercules' thread, and seeing the scissors bounce off. Hey, we can't all be demi-gods, but we can hope, right?

I guess it is related to the biological fact that all animals, including humans, have the urge ingrained in them to pass their genes on to future generations, and leave your mark on the world. Most animals, when given the choice, will not voluntarily give up their desire to live. Even when desperate, animals have the overwhelming aspiration to pass on as many of their genes as they can, and to live as long as possible. (It's a biological fact. Accept it.) That is possibly why so many of us fear death and dying, because it represents something that goes against the instincts of nature.

So that brings us back to the all-important question or why do people even watch scary movies? Maybe some people actually like the heart-pounding thrills from the feelings of suspense. (But has it ever occurred to anyone that maybe serial killers actually get their ideas from horror movies?)
Kind of deep, depressing thoughts for a cheap horror flick...