College Conference

I had my college conference on Friday, and all I can say is that I never want to go through something like that again. Quite frankly, it was a depressing experience.
It started off okay, talking about transcripts, SAT reasoning and subject tests, and financial aid. But then, my college counselor turned around, reached for an enormous binder, and dropped it on the table in front of us, with a huge bang. That binder contained the record of every single student in our high school who had gone to college in the past 7 years. On each page was the the name of a college or university, and going down in rows were the numbers, 4.0, 3.9. 3.8, etc. Across the page in columns were the headings "Accepted", "Wait listed", and "Denied". Those thousand or so sheets of paper told you exactly how many people got into which college each year, the GPA they had, and their comparison to all the other people in their graduating class, as well as past classes. Perhaps the worst part was the last column on the sheet of paper I was given, with space to write either "Reach" "Core" "Probable", or "Likely". Next to colleges which you had a 5% or less chance of acceptance, you wrote "Reach"; next to ones with a 50-50 chance, you wrote "Core", etc. I can comfort myself that if all else fails, I am pretty much guaranteed acceptance to UH, at the very least...

As my counselor and parents flipped from one page to the next, I had this sinking feeling. College used to seem like this distant, far away place that would come eventually, but had no immediate effects right now. But looking at that binder with all the statistics showed me that sooner than I thought, I would become a part of that binder. I used to think I had all the time in the world to choose which colleges I wanted to apply to, and to start filling out those applications. But I realize that in a mere half a year or so, I will have to start turning in those applications. My counselor started talking about my list of things to do before next year, and while I was frantically scribbling notes on the piece of paper she gave me, I had a mini panic attack. Take 6 different SAT subject tests, plus the SAT again, and the ACT? Find two teachers, and build "rapport" with them in order to ask them for a recommendation next year? Start practicing essays and write a resume? All of these things seemed so foreign, and so overwhelming.

That night, I had a lot to think about. The conference was kind of like a wake-up call for me. I realize now that although it seems like a lot of work, and a lot of space to mess up in, I can't rely on my parents to make sure I follow through on all of those things. The idea of college is based upon Independence, and starting that now will only make things easier in college. Looking through that binder of nameless GPAs, and seeing which one got into where, while at first was depressing, inspired me to work harder. Sure, the college process may be very arbitrary, and may seem like luck half the time, but at least I'll know I did my best.